My Hurricane Harmed Nobody

Rita

Another one to watch.

Episode 3

I Told Her Before That I Have All The Answers.

To answer Holly's questions on 8/25.

Next time you have questions, just feel free to ask me first.



food for thought:

1. Is it true that the only difference between a yardsale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
In reality, they are nearly the same thing. The only difference is that the people want someone to pay for taking their trash.

2. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
If all you ever did was wash and dry the clothes, then yes, they would eventually come apart and virtually disapear. Most people, however, wear their clothes. Add the effects of washing and drying, and the clothes are usually unwearable before they just disappear.

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
No. This goes for any furnature or clothing items. There is always a sale. In fact, advertised sales are often more expensive than the normal sales. If you weren’t there the day before, you wouldn’t know the difference.

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
There are many reasons for this. Some people just forget that they had just went to the refrigerator. Others remember something good that was in the fridge and go and look if it’s still there. And then some just have nothing else to do and go back hoping for food, but instead just grab another beer.

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
They are just trying to protect themselves from stupid people. Why do poptarts have directions? Why does oil cans tell you not to drink it? It’s because somewhere, some stupid idiot has done it.

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Often, the string is held down by the other fibers in the carpet. So picking it up, and placing it on top, should allow the vacuum to suck it up.

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
Often the bottom is at the end you pull on. Thus it is the first end you see and try. You then realize your mistake and open the correct end, only to forget again the next time you need one.

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures ?
They must not be closed tightly then, and they crawl in and die from the heat. I’m sure they smell good.

9. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
A bubble is a very thin layer of soap that is super reflective. On closer inspection some will appear to be multicolored, but from a distance, they reflect all light, thus looking white.

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Because we never know now a days who has a gun.

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
If this is the case, maybe you need better glasses.

12. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer?
Sometimes, but it really means that either there is a wife there doing her job, or they hired a house keeper. (just kidding about the wife thing ;))

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
People are most comfortable at around 72 degrees F. Unfortunately, the temp outside is rarely that, so we must use devices to control the temperature inside. Plus, people like to complain, even when they get what they wish for.

14. How come we never hear father-in-law jokes?
Because father in laws don’t cook or give presents in general, therefore, they don’t have a chance to screw up.

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?
No, you should make your wife do it then if she had such a good suggestion. (just kidding again!!)

Episode 2

The Pump Can Really Suck

Gas prices really hurting here in Georgia. Click and see. Supposidly we are running out of gas here. Supply lines are down. My step sister couldn't find any yesterday and the prices were 4 bucks a gallon. This is kinda crazy. Hope they fix it soon or Atlanta will be shut down.


On a good note...

3 things i am happy about.

We don't own an SUV. I hear it's tough to get rid of one now.

I filled up both cars the day before Katrina hit.

Alicia's car gets 35 miles to the gallon. Highway of coarse.

So we aren't panicing... yet. I just hope that stations will have some gas at a "reasonable" price soon.


carpe diem

2 Years

As of August 31st...

It has been 2 wonderful years.

Hope to have many more Alicia!