Bowling For Fish
Michigan Driving School
I'm sure everyone out there wants to know how to drive like someone from Michigan. Well... I'll tell ya.
There are actually 2 schools here, and they are polar opposites, like rap and real music. (Which there is less and less of.)
The first school is to drive very slowly and to not notice anybody else on the road. You are going to get there when you get there and you need to take up the left lane because semis scare you. Luckily, people riding your ass don’t scare you, but you do get angry when they pass you on the right, even though they have no other choice. If you are a woman, the largest SUV out there is the choice for you. If you are a man, any luxury car will suffice. Whatever you do, don’t forget these rules of the road. If it is early in the morning, drive with your brights on. When it is raining, leave them off, cause after all, you really aren’t there.
The second school is to fly like the wind. Driving is a chore to you, and you are chronically late. Anything that slows you down you either don’t use, or fly around. This includes the turn signal. Never use it. It is just a waste of time and people will let you in anyways, even if it is a tight spot. Slow people in the left lane really piss you off and you will ride anyone’s ass in order to get them to move. Any space you will take to try to get around them. Passing on the right is the preferred method. Semis don’t scare you because they cannot match your speed. The type of vehicle doesn’t matter to you since you are usually young and don’t have the money. If you do have money, a sports car is the best auto for you. Just always remember, they are not people out there, just obstacles in your way.
Now that you know the rules, you too can drive the pothole-ridden roads of Michigan.
There are a few other schools, but these are the most common. Just remember to wear your seatbelt, since nobody knows how to drive in bad weather, and everyone slams on their breaks when they see police.
Carpe diem.
Quote of the day: "It's a flying cock-a-saurus!"
There are actually 2 schools here, and they are polar opposites, like rap and real music. (Which there is less and less of.)
The first school is to drive very slowly and to not notice anybody else on the road. You are going to get there when you get there and you need to take up the left lane because semis scare you. Luckily, people riding your ass don’t scare you, but you do get angry when they pass you on the right, even though they have no other choice. If you are a woman, the largest SUV out there is the choice for you. If you are a man, any luxury car will suffice. Whatever you do, don’t forget these rules of the road. If it is early in the morning, drive with your brights on. When it is raining, leave them off, cause after all, you really aren’t there.
The second school is to fly like the wind. Driving is a chore to you, and you are chronically late. Anything that slows you down you either don’t use, or fly around. This includes the turn signal. Never use it. It is just a waste of time and people will let you in anyways, even if it is a tight spot. Slow people in the left lane really piss you off and you will ride anyone’s ass in order to get them to move. Any space you will take to try to get around them. Passing on the right is the preferred method. Semis don’t scare you because they cannot match your speed. The type of vehicle doesn’t matter to you since you are usually young and don’t have the money. If you do have money, a sports car is the best auto for you. Just always remember, they are not people out there, just obstacles in your way.
Now that you know the rules, you too can drive the pothole-ridden roads of Michigan.
There are a few other schools, but these are the most common. Just remember to wear your seatbelt, since nobody knows how to drive in bad weather, and everyone slams on their breaks when they see police.
Carpe diem.
Quote of the day: "It's a flying cock-a-saurus!"
